In keeping with Bedia community tradition, Neha Singh's father had made up his mind to sell her to the highest bidder. She talks to Upneet Pansare about how she escaped becoming a statistic
“I belong to the Bedia community in Morena, Madhya Pradesh. In our community, the daughters of the house provide for the family by becoming prostitutes. And the men generally act as pimps. Prostitution is so rampant in our community that it’s normal to see girls standing along highways while their fathers and brothers negotiate prices with the customers. In our family too, my naani (maternal grandmother) and maasi (maternal aunt) were prostitutes. I was a bright and attractive girl and my naani and maasi tried convincing my parents to sell me off in exchange for a large sum of money. But my mother would hear nothing of it. She was educated and intelligent, and refused to let me get sucked into the black hole that had destroyed so many women of our family. She herself had rebelled against her family, gotten educated and even landed a respectable job at ActionAid, an international agency that works with NGOs and local bodies for the betterment of marginalised people in rural India. But my father was a wastrel. He had taken to smoking and drinking excessively and was a womaniser.”
“I was taken to Kolkata”
“My world fell apart in 2005, when my mother died in a bus accident. I had just finished my std VII exams. My naani convinced my father to send me with her to the red-light area of Sonagachi in Kolkata. My protests and pleas fell on deaf ears and against my wishes, I was taken to Sonagachi via Dhauli and Agra. I met with a horrifying sight on my arrival. The streets were lined with women soliciting customers. Girls as young as 10 years were dressed in garish clothes, chewing tobacco and drinking as pimps haggled over their prices. I was taken to my naani’s adda (headquarters). I started crying and protesting loudly. Somehow, my naani relented and I went to stay with my cousin near Sonagachi.”
“I spent two years there, studying. While there, I began to understand what went on in the minds of these prostitutes. Once they were part of the sex trade, these girls lived a life of absolute luxury. Air-conditioned cars, air travel and food and drinks at posh restaurants were part of the norm. I could see why so many girls found this life so hard to resist.”
“From a young age, they had been brainwashed into believing that the sex industry would take care of all their needs. By the time they realise that they have walked into a life-long trap, it is too late to get out. They suffer in silence because back home, their families are depending on the money they bring in. The air travel that seemed so fascinating earlier was simply, they realised, a way to monitor their movements.”
“My father beat me up mercilessly”
“While I wasn’t a prostitute, I still prayed that I’d be able to escape this environment like my mom did, but that was not to be. One day in 2007, I was taken back to the adda on some false pretext. My naani was waiting there for me, with a customer. But I refused to be left alone in the room with the stranger. Thankfully, due to the ensuing argument, the man said not to force me into anything. While my naani and the man argued, I dashed down the stairs. She sent some goons after me to keep me from escaping. I hailed a cab and escaped to a lodge. I had to pawn off the jewellery I had on me to pay for the taxi and buy some food. In the morning, I headed to Howrah railway station and called my uncle and aunt, who lived near my house in Morena. But my father had been listening in on the other line and alerted my naani to my whereabouts. Just as I was about to board the train to go home, she caught hold of me and took me back with her. Again the torture of convincing me began. We argued and they beat me up. None of my family members intervened. I realised that no one would help me and I needed to do something on my own to put an end to this torture.”
“However, my stiff resistance prompted them to send me home to Morena again and my father was asked to convince me to go back and join them. During this time, I was beaten up mercilessly by my father and asked to follow the family occupation. They tried everything: cajoling me into submission and when that didn’t work, they threatened that they would withhold the property that my mother had left in my name. But I was adamant.”
“I ran away to the ashram”
“I had heard of Abhyodhya Ashram at Morena, about half an hour away from my home that rescued girls who had been forced into the flesh trade. My mother, too, had worked with them. I went through my mother’s papers and found their address. I decided to run away from home and take shelter at the ashram. I landed there one night with nothing but hope. Ram Snehi, an eminent anti-trafficking crusader at the ashram, took me under his wing. My father and some relatives came there a few days later to take me back home. But I refused to go and Snehiji was adamant that I leave the ashram premises only of my free will.”
“To my father, I was the hen that was going to lay golden eggs and the thought of losing me made him furious. On December 19, 2009, about 20 men attacked the ashram.We decided to take the matter to the police. The inspector general of Bhopal immediately filed a case against my father, naani and their accomplices. While my father secured bail after a few months, my naani went absconding and is still at large.”
“During the interrogation, I told the police everything that I had seen in Sonagachi and other places. Naani had addas not only in different parts of India, but also in Dubai and Bangkok. Following my tip-off, the police orchestrated a large-scale raid in Sonagachi. But the girls and the pimps, well-versed with such raids, managed to escape. A big reason for this was also that the police was hand-in-glove with the pimps.”
“I changed my destiny”
Shortly after the incident, I appeared for my std X exams at the ashram. I later learned that my rate had been fixed at Rs 1 lakh for a night. But thanks to my mom, I knew that I had to resist the lure of money. She had drilled it into me that I had to get educated, earn, get married and live a respectable life. I’m happy that I had the courage to change my destiny. I believe that nothing is impossible if you try hard enough.”
Who is Ram Snehi?
Ram Snehi, 80, is one of the pioneering social activists working for the Bedia community. He has been running the Abhyodhya Ashram in Morena in northern Madhya Pradesh for 20 years. The ashram educates children of the community. The girls are also given training in the art of self-defence, besides being taught to stitch, make handicrafts,etc. Snehi himself comes from the Bedia community. At the age of eight, he rescued his cousin from a brothel. To date, he has rescued more than 1,000 sex workers.
Thanks to his tireless campaigning, Ram Snehi was able to get Morena district to be declared a sensitive area under the Immoral Traffic (Prevention) Act (PITA) for prevention of prostitution among Bedias. Snehi has been ex-communicated for having gone against the community’s tradition. In 1971, Snehi got the first Bedia marriage registered in court. He has since had more than 50 marriages registered.
courtesy -femina
“I was taken to Kolkata”
“My world fell apart in 2005, when my mother died in a bus accident. I had just finished my std VII exams. My naani convinced my father to send me with her to the red-light area of Sonagachi in Kolkata. My protests and pleas fell on deaf ears and against my wishes, I was taken to Sonagachi via Dhauli and Agra. I met with a horrifying sight on my arrival. The streets were lined with women soliciting customers. Girls as young as 10 years were dressed in garish clothes, chewing tobacco and drinking as pimps haggled over their prices. I was taken to my naani’s adda (headquarters). I started crying and protesting loudly. Somehow, my naani relented and I went to stay with my cousin near Sonagachi.”
“I spent two years there, studying. While there, I began to understand what went on in the minds of these prostitutes. Once they were part of the sex trade, these girls lived a life of absolute luxury. Air-conditioned cars, air travel and food and drinks at posh restaurants were part of the norm. I could see why so many girls found this life so hard to resist.”
“From a young age, they had been brainwashed into believing that the sex industry would take care of all their needs. By the time they realise that they have walked into a life-long trap, it is too late to get out. They suffer in silence because back home, their families are depending on the money they bring in. The air travel that seemed so fascinating earlier was simply, they realised, a way to monitor their movements.”
“My father beat me up mercilessly”
“While I wasn’t a prostitute, I still prayed that I’d be able to escape this environment like my mom did, but that was not to be. One day in 2007, I was taken back to the adda on some false pretext. My naani was waiting there for me, with a customer. But I refused to be left alone in the room with the stranger. Thankfully, due to the ensuing argument, the man said not to force me into anything. While my naani and the man argued, I dashed down the stairs. She sent some goons after me to keep me from escaping. I hailed a cab and escaped to a lodge. I had to pawn off the jewellery I had on me to pay for the taxi and buy some food. In the morning, I headed to Howrah railway station and called my uncle and aunt, who lived near my house in Morena. But my father had been listening in on the other line and alerted my naani to my whereabouts. Just as I was about to board the train to go home, she caught hold of me and took me back with her. Again the torture of convincing me began. We argued and they beat me up. None of my family members intervened. I realised that no one would help me and I needed to do something on my own to put an end to this torture.”
“However, my stiff resistance prompted them to send me home to Morena again and my father was asked to convince me to go back and join them. During this time, I was beaten up mercilessly by my father and asked to follow the family occupation. They tried everything: cajoling me into submission and when that didn’t work, they threatened that they would withhold the property that my mother had left in my name. But I was adamant.”
“I ran away to the ashram”
“I had heard of Abhyodhya Ashram at Morena, about half an hour away from my home that rescued girls who had been forced into the flesh trade. My mother, too, had worked with them. I went through my mother’s papers and found their address. I decided to run away from home and take shelter at the ashram. I landed there one night with nothing but hope. Ram Snehi, an eminent anti-trafficking crusader at the ashram, took me under his wing. My father and some relatives came there a few days later to take me back home. But I refused to go and Snehiji was adamant that I leave the ashram premises only of my free will.”
“To my father, I was the hen that was going to lay golden eggs and the thought of losing me made him furious. On December 19, 2009, about 20 men attacked the ashram.We decided to take the matter to the police. The inspector general of Bhopal immediately filed a case against my father, naani and their accomplices. While my father secured bail after a few months, my naani went absconding and is still at large.”
“During the interrogation, I told the police everything that I had seen in Sonagachi and other places. Naani had addas not only in different parts of India, but also in Dubai and Bangkok. Following my tip-off, the police orchestrated a large-scale raid in Sonagachi. But the girls and the pimps, well-versed with such raids, managed to escape. A big reason for this was also that the police was hand-in-glove with the pimps.”
“I changed my destiny”
Shortly after the incident, I appeared for my std X exams at the ashram. I later learned that my rate had been fixed at Rs 1 lakh for a night. But thanks to my mom, I knew that I had to resist the lure of money. She had drilled it into me that I had to get educated, earn, get married and live a respectable life. I’m happy that I had the courage to change my destiny. I believe that nothing is impossible if you try hard enough.”
Who is Ram Snehi?
Ram Snehi, 80, is one of the pioneering social activists working for the Bedia community. He has been running the Abhyodhya Ashram in Morena in northern Madhya Pradesh for 20 years. The ashram educates children of the community. The girls are also given training in the art of self-defence, besides being taught to stitch, make handicrafts,etc. Snehi himself comes from the Bedia community. At the age of eight, he rescued his cousin from a brothel. To date, he has rescued more than 1,000 sex workers.
Thanks to his tireless campaigning, Ram Snehi was able to get Morena district to be declared a sensitive area under the Immoral Traffic (Prevention) Act (PITA) for prevention of prostitution among Bedias. Snehi has been ex-communicated for having gone against the community’s tradition. In 1971, Snehi got the first Bedia marriage registered in court. He has since had more than 50 marriages registered.
courtesy -femina
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